March 5, 2012

"Mommy, I can tell you're finally getting better!"

This morning my five-year-old daughter said, "Mommy, I can tell you're finally getting better!"

I can't begin to tell you what that means to me, but after yesterday's post, you can have some idea.  There is nothing more that I want than to be a good mother to my kids.  And especially in their early years, I don't want to be the mentally, emotionally, physically exhausted mom that I have been.

A friend emailed me to ask how I have been.  The last time we saw each other was when her young family visited our little family on a cross-country road trip. I remember at the time, I was so tired from preparing for them to come and stay with us.  While they were here, I was exhausted at entertaining them and providing a nice place for them to stay.  Afterwards, it took me weeks to recover. 

At the time, I knew something was wrong, that it wasn't normal for me to be feeling that way.  But my thinking was so foggy and I was feeling so out of it, that I couldn't see clearly enough to start combing through information to figure it all out. 

Part of me keeps thinking, why didn't I go to my doctor sooner?  But I know why I didn't - I was too tired to think!  I've said it before and I'll say it again: sometimes it's easier to be sick than it is to get well.